3 CHRISTmas' Have Past

"Tommy, This is our third CHRISTmas without you. Jen and the girls have moved from Flint this year. They have the home in the country you promised them. It's across the road from a horse farm. They have a special CHRISTmas tree for you outside of their bedrooms. They have decorated it with all the ornaments that they had which we got each year. (all the toy soldiers). Alex noted the three years that you have been gone. She and Dani miss you very much. Jen is taking real good care of them. Mom and I are doing all we can to do the things you would have done if you were still with us, but we can't take your place as their father. It broke my heart this fall when they had a "father-daughter" basketball game at the end of the season. I wanted to go with her in you place but she just wanted to stay home. Dani plays for Swartz Creek Dragons and is so much improved. You would be so proud of her.They finished 9-2. You mom and I continue to do things to keep you memory alive with those who tend to forget. We have come to the realization that we will never be over losing you. I talked with Sgt Hatcher. He told us how respected you were with the 155th. Patrick is attending the Naval Post Graduate School and is doing good. Jennie was extended at the Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany for a total of 2 years. She was just promoted to HM1 (First Class E-6). She got to come home for two week for CHRISTmas. I am proud of all my patriotic children. We can not seem to move forward, you were too imprinted on our lives for so long. A loan from God. A loan redeemed. We love you."Dad and Mom

We Don't Need Gun Control We Need Less Hate

There probably isn't anyone who have not been effected by the sad day at Virginia Tech. My heart goes out to the families of those who lost their loved ones. Having lost a son in the Iraq war, I know the grief that all the parents are going through.
It is interesting how we know now so much about the young man who caused the carnage that fateful day that we didn't know before all this happened. Ironically it was known about him before all this happened, but nothing was done. Because of the HIPPA rules there was information about his mental state that could not be divulged to those who lived with him in the dorm all in the name of privacy. We are so concerned about our privacy that obviously we are willing to let our young people die rather than divulge this information to those who could have protected themselves.
I have a son Patrick who was born in Seoul S. Korea. My wife and I adopted him at the age of 3 1/2. After reading about the taunting and demeaning of this young man while in middle and high school i.e. "laughing at him because the way he talked and telling him to go back to China" brings back some of the bad times we had with our son by stupid people who made remarks and treated him bad. Once he stood up for a boy who was attacked by three boys after they had got off their school bus. He pulled them off of the boy. Later when he was delivering papers the three boy who were harassing the other boy, were hiding in ambush. They came after him on their bicycles, running them into him and knocking him to the ground. After he was on the ground, they commenced to kick and beat him. One kick hit him in one of his eyes. We spent 5 hours in the emergency room and it was thought that he might have lost his vision in the eye. I reported the altercation to the police. They made a call on the parents and the school. The assistant principle at that time shrugged it off as boys will be boys. I saw it as a hate crime, but at that time hate crimes wasn't a big thing. Many times the three girls in our church was always calling him Chinese boy and said things like, "who would want to marry you."
I know that there were many other times that Patrick had to take the taunts, remarks and who knows what else. Patrick is 30 yrs old now married and with two children. He is a Capt in the United States Army. He is a college graduate, has gone to law school, and now has a fellowship from the military to Post Graduate school. He has overcome a lot. He is a patriot who is constantly dealing with discrimination because of his military service. He has been mis-identified as the Chinese soldier ( does this sound like profiling?) at Fort Lewis, Washington who refused to go back to Iraq and missed his deployment with his troops who he was suppose to be their leader. Even today Patrick has to suck it up and live with this abuse. By the way we are very proud of him.
So.......you see, although it was a horrendous thing that this gunman did, please try to realize that some people who are weaker mentally don't know how to cope with the abuse that they have gotten over the years. It all builds up, they go over and over in their mind what they would like to do until it manifest into a reality. There were times when I was young, I was smaller than most in my age group and I was intimidated and bullied. I know there were times if I could I would have done something to those who abused me. Unlike this case, I couldn't and I got over it.
Think about this young man's family. Realize what they are going through. I lost a child. That is bad enough. What if he had taken the lives of 32 souls then killed himself. Live with that. If we cannot forgive, we can not be forgiven. "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass againsts us."
Bottom line: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That's what Jesus would do.

Reactions After 39 Years

March 23rd, 2007, Mayport, Florida.
Let's go back. March, 1968 Newport News Drydock and Shipbuilding Company. Newly graduated from IC-B School, 33 weeks of intensive system training from all disciplines of mathematics to navigation and guidance and internal communication shipboard systems, we were a select group of career Petty Officers, mostly 1st class and one chief. There wasn't anything that collectively we could not do to maintain all the Interior Communications Systems aboard the soon to be commissioned U.S.S. John F. Kennedy CVA-67.
Reporting aboard to a civilian shipyard was a new and unique experience to all of us. It was my second of two pre-commissioning details. The neat thing was that unlike reporting aboard a ship where you were the only new one aboard everyone was new aboard however many of us had been classmates at Great Lakes Naval School Command. Now we were part of Detachment "A".
I could go into deep detail of what we did at NNDSC but I will at this writing condense it to the fact we spent 6 months working along side the Electronic Systems Test Group (ESTG). We spent many 10-12 hour day validating all the systems assuring that everything had been installed and was working properly.
My memories are primarily with the men I worked with. I can say men because at this point in time of the Navy there were no women assigned to combat ships.
There was the Senior Chief J E Brooker who's passion was the 3M program which he wrote. ICC Bob Stutz, my Chief and friend. We carpooled at "B" school. He had a Ford Mustang that did not care for Lake Michigan winters. IC1 Charley Hoyt, who's sister calls him by his middle name Gillom. (sorry Charlie). IC1 Ronnie K Parker. He, IC1 Gary E Sheldon and I carpooled from Norfolk to Newport News each day. Gary drove some on his own in his little Opel Cadet. Ronnie had this '67 Dodge Charger with a Hemi, a real mean street machine. IC1 M. D. Kovacs and IC2 J. E Dean who were attached to the Flight Deck crew and we didn't see them all that much. Then there was the proverbial curse like a sailor IC1 Danny R. Shaw. IC1 Tom D. Larivey lived close to me in Norfolk and we visited some. There were a lot of 2Nd and 3rd class who were more isolated from us on the ship, and we didn't have the bond as those mentioned.
We all started out on the first JFK Med cruise in '69, but Parker and Sheldon left us mid way through the cruise on a COD and went to the FDR. I never saw Sheldon again since, but Parker and I connected in Morocco at Sidi Yahi when I made a technical trip from NAVCOMUNIT London to do some training.
I connected with Chief Stutz a few years back and we have kept in contact and did not meet up again until recently at the JFK Decommissioning Ceremony at Mayport, Florida.
When we were made aware of the De com being closer than expected, Bob began searching for some more of our shipmates. He located Charley who in turn found Ronnie.
We all made it a point to meet up for the ceremony. Ronnie came from Houston, Charlie came from Port Arthur, TX and Bob came from San Diego.
Needless to say the years since we saw each other had caused us to grow if you know what I mean. Bob and Charley I could have picked out in any crowd, but Ronnie who never was over 155 pounds had made up for it. He says retirement did it to him. I just wonder what they thought of me. I never was very big, but I overcame that too.
It was really great to be with them again. The time passed like lightning. When you have served together in the service (the branch doesn't matter) there will be those who stick in your fondest memories. It would have been great for the rest of the gang to have been there and maybe in the future we will be able to include them. I think of the WWII vets who are diminishing and you get a sense of urgency for some reason.
Bob, Ronnie and I both bunked at the same hotel in Neptune Beach. Charley whose sister lives in St. Augustine stayed with her and we met up with him at the ceremony. Bob, Ronnie and I congregated in Ronnie's room. Talk about catching up. I think Ronnie who went on to get into the LDO program and advanced to LCDR making a long 30 year career had the most facinating stories. He and Bob saw each other in San Diego over the years since Bob retired and worked at SupShips.
Ronnie still had some of his little idiosyncrasies or tick. i.e. he has this habit of brushing or smoothing with his hand. As he told some of his experiences he would constantly smooth the bed spread with his hand. Another is when he isn't doing anything he will pick at his finger as if something is there or he is trying to remove his skin. lol. Not to say this is good or bad, but it is some of the trademark things about him.
Bob has this gift of really listening. He will look straight at you and appear to be studying you as if to try to figure you out. Good luck on me.
Charlie is the one who has calmed down and now lives a life that is good. In our younger days Charlie could make a train whistle sound that you thought was a train. He never did that this time and we didn't ask him to.
Well the De Com ceremony lasted about a hour and forty five minutes. Then it was over. All the ships company marched off and the Skipper was the last one. The commissioning penant and the Ensign were lower for the last time and as quick as that she was no longer a Navy Vessel.
Where did the last 39 years go. It went with doing all those things that change us one day at a time. It went with raising children, seeing them graduate from college and then seeing your grandchildren born. Everyday we look into the mirror and we don't see the subtle changes in our faces and hair. We don't notice and those who we are around don't notice it either, because they are changing at the same rate you are. I know 39 years has taken its' toll on me. "I look in the mirror with total supprise at the hair on my sholder and the age in my eyes."
Bob, Charley, Ronnie, it was great being with you for that short time. I guess if we had lived and stayed together over the years we would have thaken it for granted, but just those few hours were precious. Take care my buddies, lets do it a gain.

In Florida Again

We bought a home in Fort Myers, Florida, March 2005, almost 2 years ago. Five months before Tommy was killed in Iraq. We had planned on spending most of the cold months here. That was before that tragic day in August, 2005. We had gotten homesick for our granddaughters before, but now it is even worse when we are gone. They are Tommy's daughters, Danielle almost 13 and Alexandra who will be 9 in February on my birthday the 22nd. Last year when we came down our daughter Jennie was there in Flint and helped their mother on days that she worked late and the girls needed picked up at school.
This year Jennie is in Germany at Landstul, at the Army hospital where the severely wounded are sent on their way back stateside. She was to be there for a year in support of Iraqi Freedom with the Navy Reserves. They have asked her to extend another year......So....She is not available to help as last year. A friend is helping on the long days. They seem to be doing okay with that, however they miss us as much as we miss them.
The majority of the time that we have spent at the new home in Florida has been remodeling. We have made a lot of improvements which has added value to the property. We hope now to either rent it out or sell it. The reason is, we no longer have the desire to be away from the granddaughters so long at a time and life without our son and their father has taken the ideals of retirement away from us. There are many casualties of war besides the one who was killed. The politicians have been debating whether we need to send more troops or not to Iraq. They have lost sight of the mission. It is better for them as the citizens in general have lost the stomach to press on to victory. Where would we be today if our forefathers had given up. We would not have the liberty that we have. Politicians on both sides of the isle have lost sight of goal, have lost sight of the mission, have lost sight of what is best for the United States. There are more casualties at home (wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters plus extended family) which shortly after the interment of the military person have been forgotten by the politicians. All they can do is quote numbers i.e. a new milestone (3000 killed) as if the president is responsible. The mainstream news media plays into the hand of the liberal agenda and abets the anguish of the citizens. The inflections they place on words or phrases barely falls short of incitement. I seldom watch the national networks because they only tell the side of a story that they want told. Mostly a liberal slant. There are so many good things happening with our soldiers in Iraq that never see the light of day through the press. The only thing they will report is the negative or anything that is against the moral fiber the country was founded on. Sad but true most people take what is reported as true and fact. If you don't believe me think about how many times you have received an email and forwarded without checking if it were a hoax. I always do my own research and never pass anything along until I know it is true and is worthy of forwarding. I was told a long time ago by a wise man, "don't believe anything you hear and only half of what your see."