23 May, 2011
In the current age if you are in the military, have someone serving in the military or have lost a loved one in a war there is no end to the organizations and agencies available to provide assistance both physically and emotionally. I receive these thick large envelopes weekly from various organizations asking for donations to serve their cause, many of which someone just got the idea, formed it and set up a non-profit. Most on their face value look worthy of donations. Some I have sent funds to and others just get file thirteen. I live on fixed income but am not stingy with what I have been bless with. First my church get a tithe as a beginning of giving and more to support special projects.
I served on active duty form 1960 thru 1973 and re affiliated with the Navy Reserve in May 1985 and finished my career. The reserves was good duty and I got to do different things that I didn't get to do while active. I served with ACU-1 in Coronado, Ca, Navy Dive Locker, Subic Bay, Philippines, SIMA, Norfolk and Mayport Fl, and Naval Security Force, Yorktown, Va. My time away from home in the reserves was a two day week-end where I couldn't go home at night, but most were at NavResCen, Saginaw and I went home on Saturday night so it was no more than working overtime at my civilian job except a lot easier, as I was a LPO and was in charge most of the time. We did training, physicals, PT, and a lot of urinalysis drug testing; but we were getting paid for peeing in a bottle. Of course there was the annual two week active duty and a couple of these I took Linda which introduced her to Florida.
I retired in 1994 with an accumulative time of 22 years, 3 months and 13 days. It was worth the time to get the "thank you note" I receive each month now.
But my active duty was a different story. I had a rating that was primarily sea going and to sea I did go. I wanted shore duty so bad that I volunteered for any and all schools that came along as it got me off the ship for at least 6 week at a time. One of my schools was 33 weeks long and gave me the equivalent of an Electrical Engineering degree. Many colleges would give you credits toward an official EE degree.
When I was single my first 5 years in the Navy, going to sea didn't bother me as we would make these neat port calls and I took every tour in the foreign port that I could afford. When the ship was in home port I would do standby duty for the married guys so they could be with their families; especially on week-ends. We took care of each other.
Then in July 1963 I met the love of my life; Linda. She was still in high school and although we become engaged we didn't get married until March 1965 although we had planned a June wedding in Eldorado, Illinois. Life happened the first time for us. My father died in March and having to take leave for that with the logistics of me in Norfolk and her in Michigan we couldn't see the June wedding. My grandmother Sally Schumaker was making Linda's wedding dress (she still has it and let Dani and Alex use it for dress-up when they were little) which was the saddest thing about what we did. I think granny was hurt but supported us. Linda went with me to Eldorado for the funeral and we talked long and hard about getting married while we were there. As my leave was short and I had to take Linda back to Flint before returning to Norfolk we asked Dwain and Josephine Glascock who were like parents to me if they would help us get through the mechanics of getting married. We didn't have much money. Linda had worked part time in high school and had saved $90. Dwain and Jo paid for the license, blood test and tipped the preacher then bought our wedding dinner. It was 11PM before we finished dinner (we had fiddler catfish) Linda's first catfish and slot machine which were illegal. She put in a nickle and got about two dollars back. Hooked......Now Linda was married and had to go back to high school and in those days it was a no, no to be married. She had friends who knew and I guess the officials didn't find out. By marrying me she gave up a scholarship to Wayne State.
Also a lot of people got off easy by not having to give us a wedding gift.
(I'll get to my point sometime).
After Linda graduated I drove to Flint and took her back to Norfolk, VA. I had rented us a furnished one bedroom duplex for $75 a month about one third of my take home pay. I had just gotten orders to shore duty at Naval Air Station, Norfolk for two years and so we spent our first two year plus the school at Great Lakes, Illinois together. After "B" school I was ordered to the aircraft carrier USS John F Kennedy CVA-67 being build at Newport News Shipbuilding and Drydock Company in Newport News Virginia. It had not been commissioned and wouldn't be until September 1968. We were paid $25 a day per Diem and we were able to have some luxuries like more than one six pack carton of cokes a month and in January 1969 a little baby girl named Jennifer Lyn. We got paid monthly and had to make sure it lasted. Per Diem had dried up. I remember one time a petting farm was in the Princess Anne Mall. It cost a quarter to get inside the fence and we didn't have a quarter.
Everything was pretty good until JFK was commissioned, then we were getting underway for alot for sea trials and training and would come in on the week-end every two weeks. We did shake down at Guantanamo, Cuba and slowly approaching deployment to the Mediterranean Sea. We were to be on a "show the flag" cruise because of JFK (the president)'s popularity around the world.
We departed Pier 12 NorVa in April 1969 for a nine month deployment. I was going through a lot of anxiety that started shortly after Jennie was born probably brought on by the fact that Linda would be left alone by herself while I was deployed. She didn't drive and believe it or not many women didn't then. To get groceries she would take Jennie in her stroller with a basket on the back and walk three miles each way to BeLo market to buy food. On one of her trips she stopped at a upscale clothing store and bought Jennie a frilly dress which cost $18 and had to make payment on it. We still have that dress which was a great luxury then. I didn't know about it at the time.
Then came life again. Linda's mother died suddenly on Mother's Day, 1969 while I was overseas. Here she was 754 miles away from her home and no one to turn to. She was notified by way of the son of a friend. He was a submariner stationed at DesSub piers. They called him because there was no formal way to notify a spouse (usually female) of a death in the family unless it was the service member who she was married to. Now a stranger comes to the door and tell Linda that her mother had died. Her mother was 42 and mother's day has always been very hard for Linda even today.
A lady from our church Colonial Heights Church of Christ spent the night with Linda and took her to the airport where a ticket paid by her father was waiting. Linda and Jennie flew back to Michigan.
Aboard the Kennedy I got notified via the Red Cross and military communications that Linda's mom had passed away. I tried to get emergency leave but the chaplain aboard wouldn't approve it because my mother-in-law was not immediate family....
Communications: There was no Internet, no phone lines to access, no email, nothing but US Postal Service. Linda and I wrote everyday since I had left.... then I received no letters for 16 days. I was a basket case, I guess I should have written to her sister or father in retrospect but each day you expected a letter. Linda fell into a deep depression and couldn't even take care of Jennie much less write to me and my anxiety increased. At that time I wouldn't go to sick bay because I thought I would be booted out as having some sort of mental illness. I think I had PTSD now that it is so popular. I had no recourse it wasn't important enough to the Navy to do anything.........finally a letter arrived....
Linda was taken back to Norfolk by her sister to take care of some business and then they went back to Michigan to live with her older sister's family.
In November 1969 life happened again.....My oldest brother was in a coma and not expected to live. His doctor said that he need some stimulus from outside like me visiting him. They approve me to go home as this was requested by his doctor and family. I flew military hops from the flight deck of the JFK to Signonella, Sicily, to Naples, Italy, to Rota Spain to McGuire AFB. From there I picked up United flight to Flint. I rented a panel van loaded Linda, Jennie our cat and kittens and drove to Illinois about 600 miles before I-69 etc.
I went straight to the hospital in Evansville, Indiana (it was late at night) to see Bill (my brother) they let me go immediately into ICU to see him..I said,"don't you think you've been here long enough". He opened his eyes and said, "Hello Thomas" and like that he was out of the coma. We stayed around for a week and made sure he was going to be okay.
Then we headed back to Norfolk. We drove straight back (no I-64 etc) over US 60 through West Virginia. I took very sick on the way back with a strep throat and we didn't have money for a motel and I would stop and sleep a while before continuing on. Jennie rode in her play pen anchored in the back of the van. We arrive back with one day left on the rental....when we awoke it was the day to turn in the van and we had lost a day and today we think we slept for 24 hours; but why would Jennie do this?
Before deploying to the Med I had turned in my car a 67 Buick on a line of credit and would order a new car about 6 weeks before end of deployment. I had already picked a 70 Buick Gran Sport and they had it at the dealers so I didn't have to wait long to get transportation. The letter of credit took a big dip out of payments.
We survived our active duty time the only way we knew; do it alone if we had problems we just had to suck it up and deal with it...I guess that's why my military kids have the same attitude. There was no support groups other than Navy Relief Society which could get you some clothes or temporary furniture on a loan or maybe if you needed money for emergency leave which you generally was expected to pay back.
There wasn't any flags and people waiting at the air port or welcome home signs. I didn't own a car until just before we were married. I hitch hiked on leave every time except once from Norfolk to Eldorado. I wore my uniform (because I didn't have any civilian clothes) from the time I left until the time I got back. I didn't have the money for airline ticket and even if I did connections to the sticks weren't good and you couldn't get close anyway. I didn't sleep except one time a hospital corpsman friend and I got a ride in Kentucky with two men and a boy on their way to hunt squirrels. If you are in Kentucky and get a ride hitch hiking and they say there just going down the road a piece.....be prepared to ride a while.
When I look back on all this I see a couple who looked after each other and didn't complain, didn't expect any help from anyone except from God and you know he's all you really need. If you're faithful with what he provides then he will be faithful with all you need.....not want...but need.
In March 1970 we were blessed with Tommy (Captain Lowell Thomas Miller II). I had planned on leaving the Navy when my enlistment was up, then I received orders to London, England, at the Naval Communications Unit which helped serve the Embassy. I was able to call Linda via ham radio (really private). She wanted me to get out and had planned on it, but I convinced her it would be a good opportunity for her and the kids to see parts of Europe. We accepted the orders and lived in England for 3 years and then I took my discharge and entered civilian life.
I am glad that the volunteers to the military have all these organizations today...Without them there would be a lot who wouldn't make it; however I am glad Linda and I suffered through hardships because we are stronger for it. If we had been carried each time we needed carried it would have made us weaker. Most will not understand this. We both came from humble beginnings but through our own sacrifice we raised three wonderful children who we are so proud of and provided them all with college educations at the school of their choice. Counting the summer we met Linda and I have been together for 49 years and married happily for 47.
The last time Life Happened was August 31, 2005. It was when two of the most precious little girls that God ever created lost their father. He always said it was not about him and never boasted or bragged even when he made Captain, I didn't know it. One day he was wearing his uniform and I saw his Captain bars. I asked him when he made Captain.......he just said, "oh that a couple months ago; no big deal." Then I read all the letter of commendation and achievements and they brag for him. I knew he was a great man and he didn't have to prove it to me. Just like his sister and brother both serving today he didn't get into it for what benefits he could get out of it. He served for what he could give..Jennie and Patrick are doing the same.
This is why we have all volunteers serving now in the military. No one should be forced to serve but every boy and girls should be raised so they would want to....I didn't realize this until Tommy told me "that he served because I had told him once that I served so my children wouldn't have to, yet we do; you taught us well."
So parents no matter what you do; your actions, your words, your attitude is teaching them all the time.....the fruits will be exactly what you planted.
