Gold Star - An Exclusive Club

The past few weeks I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my situation as a Gold Star dad. It seems like there are a lot of activities that "cater" to the Gold Star families; i.e dinners, parades, memorials and the like. My son, Captain Lowell T (Tommy) Miller II, a career National Guard Officer as many know was Killed by a sniper in Iskandrayiah, Iraq August 31, 2005.

The past 6+ years have been a roll-a-coaster of emotions. Tommy was doing what he loved and died doing it. How many can do that. He knew what the cost could be; really he did. He stated about four months before he was killed when someone called him a hero, that being a hero could call for sudden consequences.

Linda and I have three children all who have served and still serving. These three didn't start serving until they had completed college, which I paid a major part of the cost.

Jennie the oldest has a BS in Biology and a few minors. She is a Hospital Corpsman Chief Petty Officer in the USNR with 14 years in. Jennie did a two year deployment to Landsthul Germany at the Army Regional Medical Center where she met wounded arriving from the war zones and helped with their care so they could be transported back to hospitals in the US.

Tommy has a BS in Electrical Engineering with a minor in Mathematics. The year prior to his tour in Iraq, he was assigned to the Peace Keeping mission at Sh arm El sheik, Egypt. He was co-ordinater for border security after 9/11 at the Sioux and Port Huron until the federal agents were trained and relieved the National Guard.

Patrick (Capt US Army) has a BS in Political Science, went to Valparaiso School of Law, has a Master's Degree in Middle Eastern Studies from Naval Post Graduate School, is an Arab linguist and is currently pursuing another Master's Degree in Human Geography at Oregon University in Eugene, Oregon. When he completes this course of study (2013) he is already ordered to West Point to teach. Patrick has also served in Iraq and was wounded and spent four days in the hospital in Mosul.
Tommy left his two daughters, Dani and Alex at the young ages of 7 and 11 respectively.
Patrick has a daughter Isabella and a son Kenyon Thomas (called Tommy).
Jennie has never married and has never been serious about that.

Linda (wife) has really had a hard time with the loss of her son and still does. She does not like going to Gold Star or any other memorial events that only open the wound of loss. She goes to these because I do and have felt "obligated". A lot of the focus many times is on a few individuals and when there are lots of families there is little time to mingle, with too little time to know people. Many times I go away thinking why was I there? I have been to other fallen funerals just to honor them and their families. I have always tried to never make it about me and my grief. The ones who are present at these events get their fallen mentioned and sometimes we introduce ourselves and who our fallen hero is. I wonder because of the other's grief, do they really "care" about mine......of course they do...only they don't in the same way.

Sometimes these events conflict with other activities and you end up having to choose.
This is why I have decided not to put Linda through more wound opening and concentrate on my children and grandchildren. Most parents of fallen are younger than we are and that is primarily most of them have lost a child not long after they have graduated from high school. My children are career or parallel career military..Jennie has 14 years, Tommy would have had 17 years and Patrick has 12 years and if you add that with my service our family has a total of over 63 years service.

I'm thankful that we had Tommy for 35 years that he left us with good memories. But memories are something that his girls will not have. I remember on our way to the funeral home Alex at 7 said, " I can't remember what daddy looks like." How can you choose your "druthers"? Is it better for a fallen soldier not to be married and no children or is it better to leave a spouse and children along with parents etc.? I know when I look at my granddaughters, I see Tommy and I am glad for that, but how do you ease their hurt. I know their hurt is deeper than mine. There are about 2500 kids in this same sorority. I don't know if there is different grief of sons versus daughters. I do know that my two missed a lot of daddy daughter events in school and it grieved me to know that I could not be a substitute of their daddy.

Tommy once told me that it wasn't about him; it was the mission. I wish you could have known him. He was always in honor of the Vietnam Veterans and especially the POW/MIA's. He was so upset that more wasn't being done for the Vietnam Vets and to find the MIA's. I have seen him shed tears over this.

Other than the memorial garden in our front yard and in our hearts there is no memorial exclusive for him (that I know of) . His name and rank is however on  a lot of memorial in Michigan, Mississippi, Virginia and Washington DC. Of these we had nothing to do with except the one on the Memorial Wall at Virginia Military Institute (Class of '93) which they did but asked for my input on the wording on the plaque..We were invited to his 15 year class Reunion at VMI and were treated like royalty. His High School honored him in a program in a Requiem for the Dead at a local church in 2007. We leave those who knew him, served with him  to speak for him......and they do that so well...Thank you all.

From this day forward, I will not be attending these events where I feel so alone and the hurt starts over. I hope I'm not looked down on as not being inclusive but everyone has to do what they have to do. I don't want to discuss this and I will continue to remember all the other fallen that whose families I have known. Families who probably we would never crossed paths with; except for the common bond of loss. I want to be a friend with each as a friend and not because of our common loss but because I would have been a friend under different circumstances. I love each and I pray often for the same. I know that I have Hope in Christ and compared with eternity, this time is a vapor. I have to continue to live for the living and never forget a son who was so special, but I know I will be reunited with him when it is time.

JayFlight22 Shakedown Cruise

Back in early July, I bought a new Jay Flight 22 ft travel trailer...Due to circumstances that I did not have control of I wasn't able to take it on Shake Down until this past Monday, August, 22, 2011.

After all system checks, taking on a full load of potable water, reports to the Chief Engineer and pilot house, the special sea and anchor detail was set and lines were cast off and we pulled away from home pier at 1434.

Engine speeds were tested at turns for one third and two thirds.

There were no noticeable vibrations, hawing or pitching. At times the port steering gear seem to vibrate mostly on a starboard turn...

Arrived at anchorage for system check at 1505. Filed paperwork and was granted permission to berth 22 in the Maple quadrant.

After tying up and rigging shore power, the engines were put on cold iron and system check would now be conducted.....

The reefer which had already been previously lit off and set at max low was indicating 33 degrees in the main reefer and 0 degrees in the freeze locker. These setting were monitored every hour and adjustment made with the controls to secure an optimum storage temperature.....in this case 38 degrees plus or minus 2 degrees...by the following day optimum settings had been achieved.

After everything was secure and all systems in use running normal..the XO wanted to go ashore for dinner as it was running late and the galley had been secured until 0600. Attempting to do this is was brought to my attention that the vibration in the port steering gear was in fact a problem that needed to be addressed; however the SIMA (Ships Intermediate Maintenance Activity) had been secured and wouldn't be open until 0700.

Due to climate change and temperature drop the sound and security watch was notified to secure the AC&R and lite off the heating system...due to the fact that the equipment was new and had not been previously used, it emitted fumes that actuated the fire alarm system which had to be put temporally in standby. It was ordered to set condition Xray from Yoke in order to ventilate the space. Exhaust fans were activated and intake portals were open in order to evacuate the space of the fumes...

0930 Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2011

At SIMA for diagnosis and/or repair of vibration in the Port Steering gear. Order was written up and not being able to obtain a priority sitrep, I was transported back to the unit and was notified that I would be contacted when diagnosis/repair was effected.

1530 received a communication that the main bearing in the gear was defective and would have to be replace and work would continue immediately. The repair facility sent a courier to pick me up and I signed all necessary paperwork and reclaimed the main prime mover and returned to the unit.

Being late the XO decided to spend the night ashore. Found that the main computer would not receive in our location it was decided to take the main liberty launch to a location better adaped to get a signal. Communications was acheived and after retrieving messages and sending some returned to the ship. It was close to taps so secured for the night and turned in.

The hot water system was tested but had to make announcements that water conservation was in order and water hours showers were in effect. You had the option of going ashore for a luxuary shower. Holding tanks were tested and now all systems had been verified as operational.

The ship was ready for it's Maiden Voyage.

1300, August 26, 2011

Pulled along the garbage barge and purged the holding tanks.

Retuned to home port, off loaded supplies and had the crew pull a sweep down and taking trash to the pier. Prepared the vessle for cold iron and took to sea anchorage where it will be berthed until the next underway event.

Tom Miller, CO and log entry clerk.

We Did It Our Way - Linda and I

23 May, 2011

In the current age if you are in the military, have someone serving in the military or have lost a loved one in a war there is no end to the organizations and agencies available to provide assistance both physically and emotionally. I receive these thick large envelopes weekly from various organizations asking for donations to serve their cause, many of which someone just got the idea, formed it and set up a non-profit. Most on their face value look worthy of donations. Some I have sent funds to and others just get file thirteen. I live on fixed income but am not stingy with what I have been bless with. First my church get a tithe as a beginning of giving and more to support special projects.

I served on active duty form 1960 thru 1973 and re affiliated with the Navy Reserve in May 1985 and finished my career. The reserves was good duty and I got to do different things that I didn't get to do while active. I served with ACU-1 in Coronado, Ca, Navy Dive Locker, Subic Bay, Philippines, SIMA, Norfolk and Mayport Fl, and Naval Security Force, Yorktown, Va. My time away from home in the reserves was a two day week-end where I couldn't go home at night, but most were at NavResCen, Saginaw and I went home on Saturday night so it was no more than working overtime at my civilian job except a lot easier, as I was a LPO and was in charge most of the time. We did training, physicals, PT, and a lot of urinalysis drug testing; but we were getting paid for peeing in a bottle. Of course there was the annual two week active duty and a couple of these I took Linda which introduced her to Florida.

I retired in 1994 with an accumulative time of 22 years, 3 months and 13 days. It was worth the time to get the "thank you note" I receive each month now.

But my active duty was a different story. I had a rating that was primarily sea going and to sea I did go. I wanted shore duty so bad that I volunteered for any and all schools that came along as it got me off the ship for at least 6 week at a time. One of my schools was 33 weeks long and gave me the equivalent of an Electrical Engineering degree. Many colleges would give you credits toward an official EE degree.

When I was single my first 5 years in the Navy, going to sea didn't bother me as we would make these neat port calls and I took every tour in the foreign port that I could afford. When the ship was in home port I would do standby duty for the married guys so they could be with their families; especially on week-ends. We took care of each other.

Then in July 1963 I met the love of my life; Linda. She was still in high school and although we become engaged we didn't get married until March 1965 although we had planned a June wedding in Eldorado, Illinois. Life happened the first time for us. My father died in March and having to take leave for that with the logistics of me in Norfolk and her in Michigan we couldn't see the June wedding. My grandmother Sally Schumaker was making Linda's wedding dress (she still has it and let Dani and Alex use it for dress-up when they were little) which was the saddest thing about what we did. I think granny was hurt but supported us. Linda went with me to Eldorado for the funeral and we talked long and hard about getting married while we were there. As my leave was short and I had to take Linda back to Flint before returning to Norfolk we asked Dwain and Josephine Glascock who were like parents to me if they would help us get through the mechanics of getting married. We didn't have much money. Linda had worked part time in high school and had saved $90. Dwain and Jo paid for the license, blood test and tipped the preacher then bought our wedding dinner. It was 11PM before we finished dinner (we had fiddler catfish) Linda's first catfish and slot machine which were illegal. She put in a nickle and got about two dollars back. Hooked......Now Linda was married and had to go back to high school and in those days it was a no, no to be married. She had friends who knew and I guess the officials didn't find out. By marrying me she gave up a scholarship to Wayne State.

Also a lot of people got off easy by not having to give us a wedding gift.

(I'll get to my point sometime).

After Linda graduated I drove to Flint and took her back to Norfolk, VA. I had rented us a furnished one bedroom duplex for $75 a month about one third of my take home pay. I had just gotten orders to shore duty at Naval Air Station, Norfolk for two years and so we spent our first two year plus the school at Great Lakes, Illinois together. After "B" school I was ordered to the aircraft carrier USS John F Kennedy CVA-67 being build at Newport News Shipbuilding and Drydock Company in Newport News Virginia. It had not been commissioned and wouldn't be until September 1968. We were paid $25 a day per Diem and we were able to have some luxuries like more than one six pack carton of cokes a month and in January 1969 a little baby girl named Jennifer Lyn. We got paid monthly and had to make sure it lasted. Per Diem had dried up. I remember one time a petting farm was in the Princess Anne Mall. It cost a quarter to get inside the fence and we didn't have a quarter.

Everything was pretty good until JFK was commissioned, then we were getting underway for alot for sea trials and training and would come in on the week-end every two weeks. We did shake down at Guantanamo, Cuba and slowly approaching deployment to the Mediterranean Sea. We were to be on a "show the flag" cruise because of JFK (the president)'s popularity around the world.

We departed Pier 12 NorVa in April 1969 for a nine month deployment. I was going through a lot of anxiety that started shortly after Jennie was born probably brought on by the fact that Linda would be left alone by herself while I was deployed. She didn't drive and believe it or not many women didn't then. To get groceries she would take Jennie in her stroller with a basket on the back and walk three miles each way to BeLo market to buy food. On one of her trips she stopped at a upscale clothing store and bought Jennie a frilly dress which cost $18 and had to make payment on it. We still have that dress which was a great luxury then. I didn't know about it at the time.

Then came life again. Linda's mother died suddenly on Mother's Day, 1969 while I was overseas. Here she was 754 miles away from her home and no one to turn to. She was notified by way of the son of a friend. He was a submariner stationed at DesSub piers. They called him because there was no formal way to notify a spouse (usually female) of a death in the family unless it was the service member who she was married to. Now a stranger comes to the door and tell Linda that her mother had died. Her mother was 42 and mother's day has always been very hard for Linda even today.

A lady from our church Colonial Heights Church of Christ spent the night with Linda and took her to the airport where a ticket paid by her father was waiting. Linda and Jennie flew back to Michigan.

Aboard the Kennedy I got notified via the Red Cross and military communications that Linda's mom had passed away. I tried to get emergency leave but the chaplain aboard wouldn't approve it because my mother-in-law was not immediate family....

Communications: There was no Internet, no phone lines to access, no email, nothing but US Postal Service. Linda and I wrote everyday since I had left.... then I received no letters for 16 days. I was a basket case, I guess I should have written to her sister or father in retrospect but each day you expected a letter. Linda fell into a deep depression and couldn't even take care of Jennie much less write to me and my anxiety increased. At that time I wouldn't go to sick bay because I thought I would be booted out as having some sort of mental illness. I think I had PTSD now that it is so popular. I had no recourse it wasn't important enough to the Navy to do anything.........finally a letter arrived....

Linda was taken back to Norfolk by her sister to take care of some business and then they went back to Michigan to live with her older sister's family.

In November 1969 life happened again.....My oldest brother was in a coma and not expected to live. His doctor said that he need some stimulus from outside like me visiting him. They approve me to go home as this was requested by his doctor and family. I flew military hops from the flight deck of the JFK to Signonella, Sicily, to Naples, Italy, to Rota Spain to McGuire AFB. From there I picked up United flight to Flint. I rented a panel van loaded Linda, Jennie our cat and kittens and drove to Illinois about 600 miles before I-69 etc.

I went straight to the hospital in Evansville, Indiana (it was late at night) to see Bill (my brother) they let me go immediately into ICU to see him..I said,"don't you think you've been here long enough". He opened his eyes and said, "Hello Thomas" and like that he was out of the coma. We stayed around for a week and made sure he was going to be okay.

Then we headed back to Norfolk. We drove straight back (no I-64 etc) over US 60 through West Virginia. I took very sick on the way back with a strep throat and we didn't have money for a motel and I would stop and sleep a while before continuing on. Jennie rode in her play pen anchored in the back of the van. We arrive back with one day left on the rental....when we awoke it was the day to turn in the van and we had lost a day and today we think we slept for 24 hours; but why would Jennie do this?

Before deploying to the Med I had turned in my car a 67 Buick on a line of credit and would order a new car about 6 weeks before end of deployment. I had already picked a 70 Buick Gran Sport and they had it at the dealers so I didn't have to wait long to get transportation. The letter of credit took a big dip out of payments.

We survived our active duty time the only way we knew; do it alone if we had problems we just had to suck it up and deal with it...I guess that's why my military kids have the same attitude. There was no support groups other than Navy Relief Society which could get you some clothes or temporary furniture on a loan or maybe if you needed money for emergency leave which you generally was expected to pay back.

There wasn't any flags and people waiting at the air port or welcome home signs. I didn't own a car until just before we were married. I hitch hiked on leave every time except once from Norfolk to Eldorado. I wore my uniform (because I didn't have any civilian clothes) from the time I left until the time I got back. I didn't have the money for airline ticket and even if I did connections to the sticks weren't good and you couldn't get close anyway. I didn't sleep except one time a hospital corpsman friend and I got a ride in Kentucky with two men and a boy on their way to hunt squirrels. If you are in Kentucky and get a ride hitch hiking and they say there just going down the road a piece.....be prepared to ride a while.

When I look back on all this I see a couple who looked after each other and didn't complain, didn't expect any help from anyone except from God and you know he's all you really need. If you're faithful with what he provides then he will be faithful with all you need.....not want...but need.

In March 1970 we were blessed with Tommy (Captain Lowell Thomas Miller II). I had planned on leaving the Navy when my enlistment was up, then I received orders to London, England, at the Naval Communications Unit which helped serve the Embassy. I was able to call Linda via ham radio (really private). She wanted me to get out and had planned on it, but I convinced her it would be a good opportunity for her and the kids to see parts of Europe. We accepted the orders and lived in England for 3 years and then I took my discharge and entered civilian life.

I am glad that the volunteers to the military have all these organizations today...Without them there would be a lot who wouldn't make it; however I am glad Linda and I suffered through hardships because we are stronger for it. If we had been carried each time we needed carried it would have made us weaker. Most will not understand this. We both came from humble beginnings but through our own sacrifice we raised three wonderful children who we are so proud of and provided them all with college educations at the school of their choice. Counting the summer we met Linda and I have been together for 49 years and married happily for 47.

The last time Life Happened was August 31, 2005. It was when two of the most precious little girls that God ever created lost their father. He always said it was not about him and never boasted or bragged even when he made Captain, I didn't know it. One day he was wearing his uniform and I saw his Captain bars. I asked him when he made Captain.......he just said, "oh that a couple months ago; no big deal." Then I read all the letter of commendation and achievements and they brag for him. I knew he was a great man and he didn't have to prove it to me. Just like his sister and brother both serving today he didn't get into it for what benefits he could get out of it. He served for what he could give..Jennie and Patrick are doing the same.

This is why we have all volunteers serving now in the military. No one should be forced to serve but every boy and girls should be raised so they would want to....I didn't realize this until Tommy told me "that he served because I had told him once that I served so my children wouldn't have to, yet we do; you taught us well."

So parents no matter what you do; your actions, your words, your attitude is teaching them all the time.....the fruits will be exactly what you planted.

3 CHRISTmas' Have Past

"Tommy, This is our third CHRISTmas without you. Jen and the girls have moved from Flint this year. They have the home in the country you promised them. It's across the road from a horse farm. They have a special CHRISTmas tree for you outside of their bedrooms. They have decorated it with all the ornaments that they had which we got each year. (all the toy soldiers). Alex noted the three years that you have been gone. She and Dani miss you very much. Jen is taking real good care of them. Mom and I are doing all we can to do the things you would have done if you were still with us, but we can't take your place as their father. It broke my heart this fall when they had a "father-daughter" basketball game at the end of the season. I wanted to go with her in you place but she just wanted to stay home. Dani plays for Swartz Creek Dragons and is so much improved. You would be so proud of her.They finished 9-2. You mom and I continue to do things to keep you memory alive with those who tend to forget. We have come to the realization that we will never be over losing you. I talked with Sgt Hatcher. He told us how respected you were with the 155th. Patrick is attending the Naval Post Graduate School and is doing good. Jennie was extended at the Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany for a total of 2 years. She was just promoted to HM1 (First Class E-6). She got to come home for two week for CHRISTmas. I am proud of all my patriotic children. We can not seem to move forward, you were too imprinted on our lives for so long. A loan from God. A loan redeemed. We love you."Dad and Mom

We Don't Need Gun Control We Need Less Hate

There probably isn't anyone who have not been effected by the sad day at Virginia Tech. My heart goes out to the families of those who lost their loved ones. Having lost a son in the Iraq war, I know the grief that all the parents are going through.
It is interesting how we know now so much about the young man who caused the carnage that fateful day that we didn't know before all this happened. Ironically it was known about him before all this happened, but nothing was done. Because of the HIPPA rules there was information about his mental state that could not be divulged to those who lived with him in the dorm all in the name of privacy. We are so concerned about our privacy that obviously we are willing to let our young people die rather than divulge this information to those who could have protected themselves.
I have a son Patrick who was born in Seoul S. Korea. My wife and I adopted him at the age of 3 1/2. After reading about the taunting and demeaning of this young man while in middle and high school i.e. "laughing at him because the way he talked and telling him to go back to China" brings back some of the bad times we had with our son by stupid people who made remarks and treated him bad. Once he stood up for a boy who was attacked by three boys after they had got off their school bus. He pulled them off of the boy. Later when he was delivering papers the three boy who were harassing the other boy, were hiding in ambush. They came after him on their bicycles, running them into him and knocking him to the ground. After he was on the ground, they commenced to kick and beat him. One kick hit him in one of his eyes. We spent 5 hours in the emergency room and it was thought that he might have lost his vision in the eye. I reported the altercation to the police. They made a call on the parents and the school. The assistant principle at that time shrugged it off as boys will be boys. I saw it as a hate crime, but at that time hate crimes wasn't a big thing. Many times the three girls in our church was always calling him Chinese boy and said things like, "who would want to marry you."
I know that there were many other times that Patrick had to take the taunts, remarks and who knows what else. Patrick is 30 yrs old now married and with two children. He is a Capt in the United States Army. He is a college graduate, has gone to law school, and now has a fellowship from the military to Post Graduate school. He has overcome a lot. He is a patriot who is constantly dealing with discrimination because of his military service. He has been mis-identified as the Chinese soldier ( does this sound like profiling?) at Fort Lewis, Washington who refused to go back to Iraq and missed his deployment with his troops who he was suppose to be their leader. Even today Patrick has to suck it up and live with this abuse. By the way we are very proud of him.
So.......you see, although it was a horrendous thing that this gunman did, please try to realize that some people who are weaker mentally don't know how to cope with the abuse that they have gotten over the years. It all builds up, they go over and over in their mind what they would like to do until it manifest into a reality. There were times when I was young, I was smaller than most in my age group and I was intimidated and bullied. I know there were times if I could I would have done something to those who abused me. Unlike this case, I couldn't and I got over it.
Think about this young man's family. Realize what they are going through. I lost a child. That is bad enough. What if he had taken the lives of 32 souls then killed himself. Live with that. If we cannot forgive, we can not be forgiven. "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass againsts us."
Bottom line: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That's what Jesus would do.

Reactions After 39 Years

March 23rd, 2007, Mayport, Florida.
Let's go back. March, 1968 Newport News Drydock and Shipbuilding Company. Newly graduated from IC-B School, 33 weeks of intensive system training from all disciplines of mathematics to navigation and guidance and internal communication shipboard systems, we were a select group of career Petty Officers, mostly 1st class and one chief. There wasn't anything that collectively we could not do to maintain all the Interior Communications Systems aboard the soon to be commissioned U.S.S. John F. Kennedy CVA-67.
Reporting aboard to a civilian shipyard was a new and unique experience to all of us. It was my second of two pre-commissioning details. The neat thing was that unlike reporting aboard a ship where you were the only new one aboard everyone was new aboard however many of us had been classmates at Great Lakes Naval School Command. Now we were part of Detachment "A".
I could go into deep detail of what we did at NNDSC but I will at this writing condense it to the fact we spent 6 months working along side the Electronic Systems Test Group (ESTG). We spent many 10-12 hour day validating all the systems assuring that everything had been installed and was working properly.
My memories are primarily with the men I worked with. I can say men because at this point in time of the Navy there were no women assigned to combat ships.
There was the Senior Chief J E Brooker who's passion was the 3M program which he wrote. ICC Bob Stutz, my Chief and friend. We carpooled at "B" school. He had a Ford Mustang that did not care for Lake Michigan winters. IC1 Charley Hoyt, who's sister calls him by his middle name Gillom. (sorry Charlie). IC1 Ronnie K Parker. He, IC1 Gary E Sheldon and I carpooled from Norfolk to Newport News each day. Gary drove some on his own in his little Opel Cadet. Ronnie had this '67 Dodge Charger with a Hemi, a real mean street machine. IC1 M. D. Kovacs and IC2 J. E Dean who were attached to the Flight Deck crew and we didn't see them all that much. Then there was the proverbial curse like a sailor IC1 Danny R. Shaw. IC1 Tom D. Larivey lived close to me in Norfolk and we visited some. There were a lot of 2Nd and 3rd class who were more isolated from us on the ship, and we didn't have the bond as those mentioned.
We all started out on the first JFK Med cruise in '69, but Parker and Sheldon left us mid way through the cruise on a COD and went to the FDR. I never saw Sheldon again since, but Parker and I connected in Morocco at Sidi Yahi when I made a technical trip from NAVCOMUNIT London to do some training.
I connected with Chief Stutz a few years back and we have kept in contact and did not meet up again until recently at the JFK Decommissioning Ceremony at Mayport, Florida.
When we were made aware of the De com being closer than expected, Bob began searching for some more of our shipmates. He located Charley who in turn found Ronnie.
We all made it a point to meet up for the ceremony. Ronnie came from Houston, Charlie came from Port Arthur, TX and Bob came from San Diego.
Needless to say the years since we saw each other had caused us to grow if you know what I mean. Bob and Charley I could have picked out in any crowd, but Ronnie who never was over 155 pounds had made up for it. He says retirement did it to him. I just wonder what they thought of me. I never was very big, but I overcame that too.
It was really great to be with them again. The time passed like lightning. When you have served together in the service (the branch doesn't matter) there will be those who stick in your fondest memories. It would have been great for the rest of the gang to have been there and maybe in the future we will be able to include them. I think of the WWII vets who are diminishing and you get a sense of urgency for some reason.
Bob, Ronnie and I both bunked at the same hotel in Neptune Beach. Charley whose sister lives in St. Augustine stayed with her and we met up with him at the ceremony. Bob, Ronnie and I congregated in Ronnie's room. Talk about catching up. I think Ronnie who went on to get into the LDO program and advanced to LCDR making a long 30 year career had the most facinating stories. He and Bob saw each other in San Diego over the years since Bob retired and worked at SupShips.
Ronnie still had some of his little idiosyncrasies or tick. i.e. he has this habit of brushing or smoothing with his hand. As he told some of his experiences he would constantly smooth the bed spread with his hand. Another is when he isn't doing anything he will pick at his finger as if something is there or he is trying to remove his skin. lol. Not to say this is good or bad, but it is some of the trademark things about him.
Bob has this gift of really listening. He will look straight at you and appear to be studying you as if to try to figure you out. Good luck on me.
Charlie is the one who has calmed down and now lives a life that is good. In our younger days Charlie could make a train whistle sound that you thought was a train. He never did that this time and we didn't ask him to.
Well the De Com ceremony lasted about a hour and forty five minutes. Then it was over. All the ships company marched off and the Skipper was the last one. The commissioning penant and the Ensign were lower for the last time and as quick as that she was no longer a Navy Vessel.
Where did the last 39 years go. It went with doing all those things that change us one day at a time. It went with raising children, seeing them graduate from college and then seeing your grandchildren born. Everyday we look into the mirror and we don't see the subtle changes in our faces and hair. We don't notice and those who we are around don't notice it either, because they are changing at the same rate you are. I know 39 years has taken its' toll on me. "I look in the mirror with total supprise at the hair on my sholder and the age in my eyes."
Bob, Charley, Ronnie, it was great being with you for that short time. I guess if we had lived and stayed together over the years we would have thaken it for granted, but just those few hours were precious. Take care my buddies, lets do it a gain.

In Florida Again

We bought a home in Fort Myers, Florida, March 2005, almost 2 years ago. Five months before Tommy was killed in Iraq. We had planned on spending most of the cold months here. That was before that tragic day in August, 2005. We had gotten homesick for our granddaughters before, but now it is even worse when we are gone. They are Tommy's daughters, Danielle almost 13 and Alexandra who will be 9 in February on my birthday the 22nd. Last year when we came down our daughter Jennie was there in Flint and helped their mother on days that she worked late and the girls needed picked up at school.
This year Jennie is in Germany at Landstul, at the Army hospital where the severely wounded are sent on their way back stateside. She was to be there for a year in support of Iraqi Freedom with the Navy Reserves. They have asked her to extend another year......So....She is not available to help as last year. A friend is helping on the long days. They seem to be doing okay with that, however they miss us as much as we miss them.
The majority of the time that we have spent at the new home in Florida has been remodeling. We have made a lot of improvements which has added value to the property. We hope now to either rent it out or sell it. The reason is, we no longer have the desire to be away from the granddaughters so long at a time and life without our son and their father has taken the ideals of retirement away from us. There are many casualties of war besides the one who was killed. The politicians have been debating whether we need to send more troops or not to Iraq. They have lost sight of the mission. It is better for them as the citizens in general have lost the stomach to press on to victory. Where would we be today if our forefathers had given up. We would not have the liberty that we have. Politicians on both sides of the isle have lost sight of goal, have lost sight of the mission, have lost sight of what is best for the United States. There are more casualties at home (wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters plus extended family) which shortly after the interment of the military person have been forgotten by the politicians. All they can do is quote numbers i.e. a new milestone (3000 killed) as if the president is responsible. The mainstream news media plays into the hand of the liberal agenda and abets the anguish of the citizens. The inflections they place on words or phrases barely falls short of incitement. I seldom watch the national networks because they only tell the side of a story that they want told. Mostly a liberal slant. There are so many good things happening with our soldiers in Iraq that never see the light of day through the press. The only thing they will report is the negative or anything that is against the moral fiber the country was founded on. Sad but true most people take what is reported as true and fact. If you don't believe me think about how many times you have received an email and forwarded without checking if it were a hoax. I always do my own research and never pass anything along until I know it is true and is worthy of forwarding. I was told a long time ago by a wise man, "don't believe anything you hear and only half of what your see."

USS Corry and the MK 14 Sperry Gyro

This relationship goes back 45 years to 1961. I served 13yrs, 3mo and 24 days on active duty in the US Navy. In those years there are about 10 people who I served with that I remember as if I met them yesterday. I reported aboard the U.S.S. Corry DDR-817 in March of 1961. The ship had just returned from a Med cruise. Jim McGill IC-2 was the only one who did not get transferred or discharged upon arrival. The day I reported aboard as an ICFA gave me one day to learn the ropes, before McGill left on leave; this left me as senior IC man.
Not to worry though; the ship was in port and not too much happening as the ship was on shore power and cold iron right. Hold your horses shipmate, we had to light off the following week and maneuver up the York river to Yorktown to offload ammo. A Mk 14 Sperry Gyro Compass (bottom left in Pic) has to be lit off. I had seen these contraptions in IC-A school, but I don't thing any of them actually worked, and we didn't spend much time in the practical operation. Thankfully I had a Chief Electricians Mate who knew how to light off all the equipment and he walked me through all the things that need to be done. Talk about baptism under fire. In retrospect though I am glad to have had perform without the help of a full compliment of IC-men, as I learned fast.
Going back to the Mk. 14 Gyro. You had to attach a vacuum pump to the rotor housing to vacate all the air. In a perfect world the dumb thing would hold a vacuum of 32 in of mercury. But nothing in the Navy was perfect, (except the people I hung out with) so before lighting off the gyro you had to pump the air out. We were happy with 28 in. Of mercury. Another thing that is critical, was the course indicator (the dial on top) had to be aligned to point as close to the direction that the ship was headed. After all these preparations, you now light the gyro off. By the way if your are nautical I don't have to explain this language; if your not then try to figure it out. After lighting off, the course indicator will "precess" which means it will go to the left of the course, then right of the course and continue this procedure, each time going shorter distances on each side until it has "settled out". All this process is done the day before in case "Murphy" came aboard and it give you time to react. It all went well.
I don't remember much of the trip to Yorktown, as I spent most of my time in the IC room on watch or on trouble calls; that's what they hired me for. Sometimes my memories run together. I wish I had all the letters that I wrote home while aboard, that would help me with the history. I believe Lenny Viehland (on the right in the pic) was the next IC man followed by Jeff Nauser. I will write more about them as they are two of the 10 I mentioned before.
I rode the Corry from March '61 to Nov. '62 when I was transferred to pre-commissioning of the USS Harry E. Yarnell DLG-17, with Lenny Viehland. We had advance to IC-3 in that time.
During my tenure aboard, we made one Med cruise, repair in Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, shake down to Gitmo where we were diverted to Belize, British Honduras when hurricane Hattie wiped out Belize in Sept 1961 (we gave away all our blankets aboard including the ones on our beds). We were on quarantine of Cuba during the Cuban missile crises when Lenny and I were picked up by helicopter and transferred to the USS Independence CVA-61 on our way to Newport RI and pre-com for the Yarnell. That would be the last time I was with Jeff.
We are working on a personal reunion.

Tommy believed in what he was doing in Iraq. He often talked about the little children, giving them a pen or candy or whatever he had. I know it reminded him of his own two daughters, Danielle and Alexandra. I found this picture on a jump drive that contained pictures that he saved from his digital camera. The look on his face, the smile and the looks of the little children and his down at their level posture shows his compassion.

When I last wrote my son Patrick was finishing his tour in Mosul, Iraq (Nov 2003). My son Tom was deployed to Iskandriah, Iraq in January of 2005. He went out of his way to volunteer with the Mississippi Army National Guard with the 155th Infantry. He didn't have to go. He told us that he wanted to do something that mattered. He was a Captain, (Capt. Lowell T. Miller II) graduating from Virginia Military Institute in 1993. Tom volunteered for many assignments. He went to various training sessions up to two weeks at a time, learning all the aspects that he could to be a total soldier. He took care of his troops, sometimes at his own career expense. This is the thing that I most admired about him as his father was an enlisted man in the Navy. He sought my council many times when dealing with a situation with some of his enlisted troops. He took care of the good people and weeded out the dirtbags. Performance is what he looked for, and he would assist anyone to reach that performance, but he needed more time for slackers. He was Rowan; he could take a message to Garcia.
He returned home on the first of July 2005 for three weeks' leave. On returning to Iraq, he had volunteered to train Iraqi troops. Prior to that, he had a safe job inside the wire working the night shift to coordinate operations and retrieve disabled equipment. He didn't go to Iraq for that; he wanted to be where the action was and could be of the best use. He never sent a man to go where he wouldn't or ask anyone to do anything he would not do himself. .......

Just six short weeks after reentering Iraq, Tom was killed by a single sniper bullet at about 8:30 pm Iraqi time on 31 August 2005. He was with the men he was training to search for insurgents they had intel that they were in a house known to them. He went to the second floor and was singled out because of his 6ft 3in frame and an officer. He died on the scene after heroic efforts to save his life. The past year has been a roller coaster of emotions as the first events came and went. The first Christmas missed, was his birthday, his daughter's birthday, Mother's Day, and Father's Day. We have tried to fill in and do the things he would have done for his two daughters. We don't try or would want to take his place. We are trying to fund a scholarship in his name at VMI.

Patrick our youngest is still serving at Fort Lewis, WA with his wife and daughter. They are expecting a son in October. This will be our first grandson. He was going to get out last December, but after his brother got killed, he decided to stay in for a while. Patrick was promoted to Captain in March 2006 and wears bars that were worn by Tom.

Jennie our daughter is still serving in the Navy Reserves. She is an E5 and has just taken the advancement exam of E6. She is deploying to Germany in October for one year to work in the hospital where the wounded from Iraq and Afghanistan are medevac'd. She is a hospital corpsman and a surgical tech. She is also studying to be a registered nurse. When she gets done with that she will be commissioned.

Talking to myself again; I don't think anybody listens

Well, one son is back from Iraq and my oldest is leaving for the same place January 3rd, 05. That oldest is trying to get home for Christmas, (his training site is in lock down and no one can leave) but each minute makes it more doubtful. His oldest daughter; well if he doesn't make it will be devistated. Just another episode of dissapointments and heartache in her young life of 10 years. He is a volunteer for this mission, which makes it more tough. If he hadn't had a choice we could accept the fact easier that he had to be gone for a year out of their life, like our younger son had to do. I'm still proud of his volunteeism, but if I had to make the call, I would keep him close to the ones who really need him.

Going back to my youngest son. He returned from Iraq after a year to his family. The wounds he received when his Stryker went over a cliff near Tal Afar have healed, but there are visible scars that he will have the rest of his life. Now he has been called to perform a a task which will take a psycological toll more severe than anything he went through in Mosul. He has been assigned to casuality assistance. Most of the thirteen killed and the many wounded were from Task Force Olympia , were in the dining hall that he once ate. Now he has to help notify the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, spouses, brothers and sisters of those casualties and help them get the assistance they need in this time of grief.

I just recently lost a very good friend. He was 56; six years my junior. Driving home one Friday evening, he had a major heart attack, went off the road and hit a pole. Not a mark on his body. Autopsy showed he never knew he hit the pole. If I could design a man with the compasion of a saint, love of family and friends without reserve, respect of peers and acquaintances, looks of a greek god, and finese of a perfectionist it would be John. John and I retired at the same time. We both were at the Buick City complex to the end. We hadn't gotten together for a while. 3 days before he died, I was thinking of giving him a call to get together. Moral: don't put anything off that is important. John left his high school sweetheart who he married, 3 beautiful daughters and 7 grandchildren; and me.

Me alone.
Tom and Linda

Tom and Linda
Tom and Linda

A Year

365 days ago it seemed so long. Now it is around the corner.

Almost a year ago, Linda and I took off across the United States, westbound to spend time with Patrick our youngest son, his wife Esther and our precious littlest granddaughter, Isabella (Belly). We took the north route of I94 through Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, and Idaho to Washington State. We planed the trip so as not to rush. We saw such sights as "Mall of America", the geographical center of North America in Rugby, ND, the S.A.C site of Minot, ND, and the buffalo in Theodore Roosevelt National Park in Montana.

We visited Pinehaven children's Christian Ranch in St. Ignacius, Montana, a 1080 acre ranch supported by the Christian Churches/Church of Christ in the US. The ranch is selfcontained and has (6) 5000 sqft homes that accommodate up to 16 children per home. The ranch takes troubled youths, primarily those who have been given up on by parents or who have lost parents and the grandparents need help. Mainly rebellious types. It is amazing how these young lives are turned around. The ranch accepts no federal or state aid. Under the oversight of Bob and Nancy Larrson (a minister who started this ranch over 25 yrs ago. They are primarily self contained. They have wells, slaughter house, raise produce, raise beef, produce their own milk, hay, and harvest deer (they were in the process of dressing about 52 deer while we were there). The kids, both male and female are taught in gun safety and are allowed to go on hunting party's if they so desire. One girl had bagged a 10 pt. Whitetail during our visit. We had lunch with one the "Green House" with most of the kids living in that house. We were in awe of their deportment and discipline. Each house is named by its color. There are house parents, some still raising their own children. There are too many success stories to relate here of how they have turned out. Nothing is perfect, but they have a 99% success rate of turning these lives around. They have their own school, with gym and compete with area schools in sports and have a great success rate.

After we left Pinehaven we continued across a couple of snowy mountain passes. Across Washington state to our destination of Lacey, WA. We spent a few short day with Patrick, Esther and Belly. We would have liked to stayed until Patrick shipped out, but after spending 22yrs, 3 months and 24 day in combined active duty and reserves, Linda and I are sensitive to the fact of what it is like with so few days for family to spend together, that we left so they could spend those remaining days more intimately.

Now in about 6 weeks, Patrick will be leaving Iraq and heading home. He has about 18 months of active duty left before he can be discharged. That should keep him from having to return, but we never take anything for granted. Recently where he is they have increased the intensity of rooting out insurgents and that gives one cause for concern. We know he had been protected by angels via the prayers of all our friends and relatives. He had a close one a few weeks ago when the Stryker he was on patrol in tumbled off a 30 Ft cliff and landed on its back. He was banged up pretty bad with multiple cuts, wounds, and bruises. He told us that this was the first Stryker roll over accident that everyone survived. We thank God for that.

With his year over with he will start looking for employment. He is in great demand for intelligence work, but I don't think he is really looking that way seriously. No matter what he does, he will do well.

We don't see this kind of reporting in the mainstream press

I got this via Strykernews.com
By Kathleen T. Rhem, American Forces Press Service

BAGHDAD, Iraq, June 20, 2004 – Iraq's deputy prime minister implored the American press to provide more balanced coverage of operations in Iraq.

Barham Salih, a prominent leader from Kurdish northern Iraq, made his plea June 19 to American reporters traveling in Iraq with Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz.

"I hope you from the American press will be able to tell people back home … that (through) this mission you are giving an entire nation an opportunity to be rid of their challenges," he said.

"These soldiers are helping renovate schools and so on, and very, very little of that is reported," Salih continued. "We have to be grateful to those young men and women who have come from afar, sacrificing their lives to defend our security and our freedom."

He said context is important, and many American papers don't put things in the proper context. For instance, he said, "Many of the op-ed writers before the war predicted that Kirkuk would become the scene of the most vicious civil war," he said, referring to the northern Iraqi city that has been the site of problems between Kurds and Arabs.

"There are tensions in Kirkuk," he said, "but no civil war."

New Iraqi President Ghazi al-Yawer explained his belief that 90 percent of what's happening in Iraq is good news, and 10 percent in bad. "The media is magnifying the 10 percent, ignoring the 90 percent," Yawer said.

He said the scandal surrounding detainee abuses at Baghdad's Abu Ghraib prison is a perfect example. The issue is clearer to people like him who have lived in the United States and understand American values, he said.

"I know this is outrageous to the American public (and) to the American administration as much as it is outrageous to the Iraqis," Yawer said.

But, he added, regular Iraqis "have been breastfed hatred to the United States and Great Britain for 45 years."

Yawer said he and other Iraqi leaders are working to acquaint the Iraqi people "with the real values of the American Bill of Rights and other great things you have in your constitution."

Spaghetti Fund Raiser

Funny the relevance of things. At Calvary Christian Church we have as our V.B.S. mission project this year Rock Lake Christian Assembly which is a camp for youth and other church functions. One of our local restaurants "Fazoli's" allows different charitable organizations to run fund raiser. They provide the food we provide the eaters. For $4.49 you can get 'all you can eat' spaghetti dinner. With a drink and tax it runs $6.07. Out of this we get $1.00 per meal. I bought 4 dinners. Total bill $24.28. If I stayed home and ate I could have given the $24.28 and this would have been tax deductible. As it is the camp will get $4.00. I also worked one hour as others did; busing tables, handing out literature, stickers etc. Well, we have to eat and the food is well worth the money, regardless that I am on a low carb diet. Who makes out? Everyone. While I was at the door, I made too good contacts for prospective new members, the camp will get extra money, Fazoli's made more profit by people coming to dinner who probably wouldn't have, and two of my granddaughters got a good experience.

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's day. I think of Patrick, my son who is in Iraq. His wife and daughter are in Lacey, Washington. One if not the greatest tragedy of war, is the time taken out of a person's life by being away from family. My grand-daughter, Isabella just celebrated her second birthday nine days ago. Her father was gone. He was also gone last Christmas. Tomorrow her father will be gone on father's day. I remember 35 years ago when I was gone on my first father's day. Jennie my daughter was five months old. I was in Naples, Italy on the USS John F. Kennedy CVA-67. For 270 days I was away from my family. When I returned after that deployment, Jennie being so young did not remember me. Her rejecting me when I arrived back from deployment was more hurtful than the 9 months I was gone. I made a promise then that I would never be separated from my family for so long again. I figured there were four million people looking after the military and only one looking after my family. So, after 13 years, 3 months and 24 days I left the navy. (I did recoup the time 12 years later by serving another 9 years in the reserves, thus retiring). Today all of our fine young people who serve are volunteers. They had not threat of conscription. I have mixed feelings about that. Some give all, but most give nothing. I believe one of the problems with our country is because the majority let the minority do all the sacrificing. My wife Linda and I have 3 children. All are serving in a capacity in the military. I always figured that the 22+ years I served covered my family who couldn't serve or I could protect them from having to serve. I never once tried to persuade any of them to join as I did. I talked Patrick out of joining once, until he finished law school. The second time, I did not try. I asked my children why they wanted to be in the military. Their answer was simple. 'Dad', you served and we want to. Patrick is approaching his 4th year anniversary in the Army. He has went from a Specialist to 2LT. He has been a paratrooper, member of the Stryker Brigade, became an Arabic linguist, and trained in military intelligence. He is obligated to the Army for another year and half. The army has really made a man out of him. His head is on right and he has his priorities straight.
Tomorrow will be lonesome for me even though there will be others around me. The good shepherd who had 99 sheep in the pen, did not rest until that lost one was in the fold.
I know if he can he will call me tomorrow.

Erin finally did it.

Today was a good day in church. Erin Haven who was a year younger than Patrick has finally gotten his degree in EE from Lawrence tech. I was able to present him with a gift from the church and pick on him a little. I made the observation that Patrick had gotten his degree plus one year in law school and has served four years in the Army in the same amount of time. I have known Erin (female name for male person)married before Patrick (one of the reasons he got slowed down in school)since he was born. His dad Doug was a close friend of mine and fellow leader in church. We lost Doug to cancer about 10 years ago. Erin was 16. I look at him like a son and want to be a grandfather figure to Jonathon his son. Erin is very devout and I see him as a elder of the church some day.

If I knew it was this easy, I would have done this before.

This will be be my site for thoughts, musings, or any other pertinent/or not blog that suits my demeanor from time to time. So save this sight to your favorites if you want. Check in often, leave comments both pro or con as you see fit. I can take it.